Bingo: Bigger and Better

Wednesday is rapidly becoming drag queen bingo night. This week, the night was hosted by one of my favorite queens, Willam Belli. This blog is still young and I’ve already mentioned her 3 times! She can sing, act, and could have easily challenged for the Season 4 title on RuPaul’s Drag Race before she was disqualified for having too much sex with her husband (not a bad reason). So we already knew this would be a good night.

Then after a round of bingo where my friend Harmony won straight away, Willam introduced a surprise bingo player there for the evening: Richard Simmons. Richard Simmon is an amazingly compact ball of happiness and enthusiasm. He always looks like he is about to bounce off the walls and hug everyone in the room. It didn’t take too much prompting before he was up on stage leading everyone in an improptu workout to burn off all those extra bingo calories. He even sung some Les Mis parody and bid against himself to buy Disneyland tickets in the charity auction.

To keep the night going, I won again. This time the price was a giant picnic basket of wine and biscuits. At this point they know me by name – perhaps its my royal wave when I do the victory lap. Another friend, Cat, hit bingo but lost on the tie-breaker and had to settle for prize from the Bag of Crap (yay Animal Crackers). An to top it off my friend’s charity “Reading to Kids” raises $2600!

I am having so much fun I decide to stay for the second 9pm bingo round. The place is sold out so I end up sitting at the bar. This is rather dangerous as everyone is drinking, but it has a great view and you can easily throw your losing cards at other winners as they run up. The special guests keep showing up, this time with commedian Lily Tomlin and voice actor Bob Bergen. For a while, bingo was hosted by Ernestine (from Laugh-in), Porky the Pig, and Marvin the Martian. As my fellow bar mates struggled to keep up with fast pace, I ended up picking up more and more cards. While my luck didn’t repeat again, I thought it had and called my first false bingo. Maybe it was the drinks, maybe it was the fact I was playing 24 games at once (if old ladies in Florida can do it, why not me?). Luckily one can’t really feel a spanking through all the padding.


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